Dear Mojo,
My partner and I just had a daughter six months ago. After a great deal of training, we are just getting to sleep all night but I still wake up worried and in a panic about future challenges. Can you please tell me how I will talk to my daughter about sex? I took a class in parenting and although it was helpful, I was left with more questions than answers. I want to know how do I explain to my daughter about dating, sex and love?
Panicked Mom
Atlanta, GA
Dear Panicked,
First and foremost, congratulations on the new edition of the best gift in life, a child, to your family. I am so glad to hear your daughter has mastered the ability to fall asleep stay that way all night long. As new parents, you should both be very proud and confident in your abilities. Now that’s true mojo parenting style.
Your daughter is so lucky to have two parents who care so much and are committed to being the best you can be for her. Parenting classes, networking and reading will arm you with great knowledge for this lifetime quest. You should continue those endeavors to further educate yourselves.
The worries and panic that is keeping you awake at night about dating, sex and love only highlights your level of commitment for this child to have a great life. That is a beautiful trait and we can build on that. Although your daughter may seem way to young to start thinking about such subjects – she simply is not. Your daughter learns from you and your partner by mimicking your behavoir.
Being a “role model” who teaches respect, boundaries and love can last her a lifetime. You are building a foundation for your daughter from day one for her to possess a fierce confidence and value in herself. This “base” begins with unspoken language – it comes form your level of confidence inside of you two. Much like Cesar Millan – Dog Whisperer who teaches dog owners how to be the “pack leader” you must adapt much of the same principles. Deciding what messages you want to teach your daughter and being confident and secure in your delivery will be key to your success. Not transferring worry and panic should be your number one goal.
Once you have decided what traits you want to instill in her, begin earning your daughter’s trust by illustrating the qualities in a mate though role modeling between the two of you. Live what you want her to attract. Your words will never speak as loud as your actions. By the time she is ready to start dating or even considering sex or love she will have a base so strong that anyone who is not respectful, confident, loving and kind she will not even consider.
Enjoy each day with your daughter and all of the stages that will come way before she is ready for the subject of dating. sex and love. But when she is ready these Mojo Jewels may assist you:
1. Make sure you let your child come to you and answer with truth only what has been asked. Do not elaborate.
2. Stay age appropriate.
3. Be role model’s with the qualities you would like your child to attract and she will except nothing less.
Continue to check in with me and let me know how it is progressing. Sleep well in knowing that the hardest part to develop a successful happy child – you already possess – unconditional and mindful love!
All my best,
Dear Mojo
ask@dearmojo.com