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Dear Mojo,
I’m in a real funk and I feel like I keep getting deeper and deeper in this bucket of despair. I know you’ve been there too. But, I’ve never really let circumstances get me down, not this down.
I never knew what depression was until Brody had his accident. So I have to be grateful that I’ve not been afflicted with any real mental health issues in my life time.
Many things are happening with my life, but none of it seems to be positive or forward moving — that’s my opinion, people beg to differ with me. But I’m feeling really sad, really blue, really lonely and I can’t shake it.
For the last two years, when I’ve needed to re-focus, re-charge, and re-direct I’ve taken a trip to a warm place with sand, sun, and ocean …. written it all out of my system, would read until my eye balls were ready to fall out and listened to music to transport me. The sun would energize and relax me simultaneously and the ocean serves a dual purpose as well the first to throw out my questions and then wait for a response and the second to provide me with a different type of energy that can only come from moving water. I usually don’t mind traveling alone, but I just don’t want to this time.
So, you have any words of wisdom, advice, whatever?. Please send me your thoughts.
Desperate for a break,
New York
Dear New York,
Thoughts? It sounds like a change of scenery would not only do you a world of good but also the people around you could greatly benefit. Anytime in life when we are called to handle great tragedies, like a life changing accident to a loved one, we often forget to take care of ourselves. Much like the airlines instruct us, in case of an emergency, to take the oxygen to our own selves first then loved ones – you must use this same survival tactic. It sounds like you have no oxygen left but everyone else is breathing well. Take that trip – if you don’t want to go it alone then try a travel group. Women Traveling Together at http://www.women-traveling.com/ or http://www.sistersonthefly.com/ Give yourself the gift of new vision, intelligent conversation and reflection to see yourself through this difficult time. May the force be with you!
All my best,
Dear Mojo
ask@dearmojo.com
Dear Mojo,
I am in a tough spot. Recent life changes have put me in an awkward position. I simply cannot afford any gifts this year for anyone.
Many of my friends and my family have done so much to help me through this difficult time of divorce – I feel like I owe them. I don’t want to be anti-social – what do you recommend?
Bah-Humbug
New Orleans, LA
Dear Bah -
Sounds like you could use a little retuning of your view of what Christmas is all about. We all go through tough times and it seems you have been fortunate to have a great support system. You have a great deal to be thankful for. Take this opportunity to get creative with gift’s from the heart. Those are the most treasured items anyone can receive. When you acknowledge someone’s kindness through a hand written note stating how thankful you are to have them in your life it will touch them greater than any store bought gift. Have fun with it – if you have any old photographs of you and the recipient, write some humorous and thankful jingles on the back to show how much they mean to u! Now piper up and let your heart and pen do all your gift giving this year.
All my best,
Dear Mojo
ask@dearmojo.com
Dear Mojo,
I am at my wits end with my teenage daughter. I am recently divorced and learning to be a single Mom with many challenges. A major one is allowing my daughter to grow up and make her own mistakes.
How can we prevent our children from making mistakes we have already painfully been through? I want to hold her in and protect her. How do I handle the pain of watching them make their own mistakes even when I know the outcome, what do you do??? How do you tell your child how it is going to pan out because you KNOW! Why do they still have to go through it when I have the answers on what will happen if they will just relax and listen to me. Because you have been there. HELP me pleeze understand this.
Why does history repeat itself in soooo many ways??
Worried Mom
Atlanta, GA
Dear Worried,
One of life’s serious injustices is having to watch our loved ones grow – especially through the the tumble of life’s many valley’s. Although, necessary for proper growth and unavoidable it can be absolutely heart wrenching. The number one – do not pass go – until you complete this task daily is work to build yourself and your children from the inside out. This is a mayday situation. She is screaming for your HELP. All too often mother’s worry about the surface of their children and wonder why they don’t have it together. ALL of us need to know we are trusted, loved and cared for. TLC – it is the golden jewel of Mojo Power – build a BASE within both of you with self awareness, guidance and lots of LOVE. Once she has the safety net of a strong base in you and her own self not only will she attract less valleys she may begin to make better choices to actually avoid some.
Visualize her responsible and capable so no matter what curve balls are thrown her way she will have the confidence, tools and belief in herself to conquer. Give your children your time and energy daily to know they are your HEART. You know it has been rumored – all we need is love! Embrace your cherubs!
All my best,
Dear Mojo
Dear Mojo,
As a girl of a certain age, I find myself back in the dating game after many years of marriage. While I have been focusing a lot of my time & energy getting my life, mind & career back on track there’s just no denying those primal urges… So, ever so tentatively, I’ve been dipping my toes in the pool of available men.
I’ve found that, while the odds are good, the goods are indeed odd. The rules are clearly different at this stage of life from the last time I was single. I have healthy sense of adventure and am fairly easy going.
My question to you, Dear Mojo, is twofold, 1. What are your top 3 rules of dating in Mojo fashion and, 2. What are your top 3 places to meet guys with a little Mojo of their own?
Confused & eagerly awaiting your reply.
Santa Fe, NM
Dear confused and eager,
It sounds like you are on the right tract. No matter your age, The Mojo Rules for attracting a partner in the GAME of life are super clear – do not try! Use that ENERGY to develop your true rockin’ SELF. Start with a makeover from the INSIDE OUT to find your true mojo. Here are some Mojo Jewels for a boost to point you on the right path:
Jewel #1 Home is base. “Home” in this case is not a dwelling – it is within you. Start by developing who you are: take inventory – purge the nonsense. develop a new “herstory” bs free and GET REAL mojo sista.
Jewel #2 Be yourself. If you like pina coloda’s, getting caught in the rain and making love at midnight GO FOR IT! and for Pete’s sake don’t let anyone in your life who doesn’t enjoy those same things!
Jewel #3 Know what you want in life and be enagaged in it. When you commit to a cause, hobby or passion – you will glow like a neon light that attracts mosquitoes in the southern summer. That type of confidence is simply irresistible.
Now that got that straight – where to meet the one without trying? Anywhere you are directing your mojo energy and passion towards: chainsaw ice art lessons, rollerblading to save the whales, high tea at the Ritz (must be on a religious basis for return clientele points) or volunteering sleeplessly to find auction items for your favorite ice cream addiction charity! PASSION with action equals ATTRACTION!
The single most sexiest trait anyone can own is confidence! Grrrrrr…now that’s some neon mojo!
All my best,
Dear Mojo
ask@dearmojo.com
This JUST In: The first ever of it’s kind! NO nonsense, rule bending, solutions oriented advice blog:: dearmojo.com.
Whether you’re parenting a child or re-raising yourself!
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Learn from a collection of our pain and mistakes.
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Tell me your story, your fears, your challenges or whatever is on your mind sister.
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