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Dear Mojo,
My daughter is being bullied by a catty kid at school. She continually comes home from school in tears and begs me to help. What can I do? It is getting to the point that she does not want to go to school.
Bullied,
Georgia
Dear Bullied,
First of all, bullying is a very serious epidemic and should not be taken lightly. There are many resources to assist you. Have you spoken with the counselor at school? Are the teachers aware of this issue – if not make that call right away. Get the school officials involved ASAP and make a plan to overcome this issue immediately.
Another great recourse is a site called Kids Health – take a look at this very informative article for Helping Kids Deal With Bullies. Once you have a plan with the school officials begin at home by building a strong base within yourself for your daughter. When children have a strong base at home they are more likely to survive the perils of childhood.
All my best,
Dear Mojo
ask@dearmojo.com
Dear Mojo,
I am at my wits end. I have a boss, who has been a dear friend of mine for years, who is driving me crazy. He is completely unstructured, runs hot and cold and I never know where I stand with him. I am continually given instructions that I believe are off the top of his head while he is distracted by other things. Then when I follow through with those stated instructions, he yells at me and says he changed his mind.
Worried and Crazed
Georgia
Dear Worried,
It sounds like your boss is breaking one of the most important Mojo Jewels to live by: Never go on your first reaction. Did you know our first reaction is always purely emotional? The problem with that is, when provoked, your emotions have no calendar in the brain bank. Therefore when a situation arises that makes you angry there are thousands of memories that flow to the surface to fuel a reaction that may not be merited for the current situation. I often have to get myself to my 12th reaction before it makes sense to me. That’s a lot of emotions to lasso before my mouth opens.
Try to make an appointment with your boss away from the office if possible. It sounds like he is taking advantage of your friendship and mistreating you. Owning a business today is extremely stressful. You may want to ask him to find another punching bag or you will find another job. But of course, make sure you have one set up already with a boss who can treat employees fairly.
All my best,
Dear Mojo
ask@dearmojo.com
Dear Mojo,
My refrigerator went our about two weeks ago. I am dating a man with a truck who lives about 30 minutes from where a new refrigerator is located that was given to me by some friends. Each day he promises to help but something comes up. It hurts me very deeply because it seems like he just wants the fun of our relationship and not the tough times.
I have two children who love their popsicles. It was no problem when we had the cold spell, because I used my deck as my cold storage, but now they have all melted.
Popless in Atlanta
Dear Popless,
Come on – are you serious even asking this question? Did you hear what you stated? Really? It sounds like you have an unboyfriend “dud” with a frozen popsicle heart on your hands. Call a real friend and get that fridge over asap! Lose that boy!
All my best,
Dear Mojo
ask@dearmojo.com
Dear Mojo,
Help, I am completely losing my mind. As a new mother, I find that it is Ground Hogs day over and over. I feel so lonely and that life is passing me by. I was laid off a few months ago and I am desperately trying to find a new job in between feedings, changes and cleaning. I adore my six month old but feel I am shut off from the world and burnt out. I want to be the best for her and my family but feel like I am coming apart at the seams.
Frazzled and Fading Mom
Atlanta, Ga
Dear Frazzled and Fading Mom,
You are not alone. Many new parents struggle to find balance in their lives to be the best for their children but not lose their own identity. Parenting is a very tough job – the basic fact that you are feeling controlled by a daily repetitive schedule means you are doing it right – children need and thrive on a schedule. The trick is to make part of that schedule for you. “Me” time is essential for your health to be the best you can be for your family. Even if it is a walk by yourself for twenty minutes – without this break, burn out is inevitable for anyone.
There is an excellent site for Mom’s called BabyCenter.com. It has an abundance of resources for new Mom’s at any stage. Check out this recent post about the balancing act of motherhood Balancing Acts: Stop Second Guessing Yourself. This post was extremely informative and has so much to offer new mother’s. Scroll down to Baby’s First Year and learn that you are not alone.
Once you have that “me” time scheduled and you are ready for the next step, come back to Dear Mojo and let’s spice that it up mojo style!
All my best,
Dear Mojo
ask@dearmojo.com
I can not believe it – no way! I am not the type of person who “wins” things – and I mean never. At least not when it’s left up to chance. I am the type of person who usually works very hard, fails a few times then finds a resourceful way to achieve my goal in true mojo stylel. But there are exceptions, I actually won a WordPress Class at Open Source Training while at Atlanta WordCamp ! Ya freakin’ whoo ha! Miracles do happen! I am thrilled, this will enable me to continue to bring you all great content backed with the “tech know how” needed to enhance Dear Mojo.
Have a great weekend!
Dear Mojo
ask@dearmojo.com
Dear Mojo Sister’s,
I was so fortunate in 2009 to have five babies born into my very dear circle of friends. My friends are all great mother’s and share a very mindful concern – how do I build my baby to be a strong person with great confidence and healthy self-esteem?
This question constantly comes up in various wording. Therefore, I did a little research and found this fabulous article on just that subject. Understanding the Power of Healthy Self-Esteem and Children, in it Dr. Aubrey Fine concludes “help them discover the power within them and to help them acknowledge their individual assets.” Did you get that, “within them,” and “individual assets” that is the Mojo principle of “base.” Utilizing the internal building blocks from babyhood of trust, respect, pride and love. These traits you install in your baby will give them a base so they can handle life’s many turbulence. No big bad wolf ever blew down the brick house – the foundation was just too strong!
The same principles applies for You. If you are re-raising yourself, like I did, start from the inside out. Build that foundation a little each day in yourself and your loved ones! It’s a gift that last a lifetime. Let me know what creative ways you are using to build your babies Mojo Base.
All my best,
Dear Mojo
ask@dearmojo.com
Dear Mojo,
I am a Senior in high school. I would like to go away for college but my parents cannot afford out of state tuition. I did not get into the best “in state” colleges. Please help.
College Bound
Kennesaw, GA
Dear College Blues,
Congratulations on the next new phase of your life. How exciting to be in your place right now. Although it is a huge decision, there are many options that you may not have considered. First of all, you may want to do some research on smaller colleges that are in state but at least two hours away that specialize in what you would like to study.
There are many small colleges rising Seniors forget to consider with all of the hype of the larger universities. Look at it as an adventure, once you have a new list, go visit the campuses as if you were interviewing them to see what your quality of life would be there. It may take several tries but I am confident you will find the right match.
If you do the research and development properly you will have the confidence in yourself to trust your decision. You may also want to consider starting Summer 2010 semester if your needs are urgent!
If anyone can recommend a smaller college in Georgia at least two hours away from Kennesaw – please comment.
All my best,
Dear Mojo
ask@dearmojo.com
Dear Mojo,
My partner and I just had a daughter six months ago. After a great deal of training, we are just getting to sleep all night but I still wake up worried and in a panic about future challenges. Can you please tell me how I will talk to my daughter about sex? I took a class in parenting and although it was helpful, I was left with more questions than answers. I want to know how do I explain to my daughter about dating, sex and love?
Panicked Mom
Atlanta, GA
Dear Panicked,
First and foremost, congratulations on the new edition of the best gift in life, a child, to your family. I am so glad to hear your daughter has mastered the ability to fall asleep stay that way all night long. As new parents, you should both be very proud and confident in your abilities. Now that’s true mojo parenting style.
Your daughter is so lucky to have two parents who care so much and are committed to being the best you can be for her. Parenting classes, networking and reading will arm you with great knowledge for this lifetime quest. You should continue those endeavors to further educate yourselves.
The worries and panic that is keeping you awake at night about dating, sex and love only highlights your level of commitment for this child to have a great life. That is a beautiful trait and we can build on that. Although your daughter may seem way to young to start thinking about such subjects – she simply is not. Your daughter learns from you and your partner by mimicking your behavoir.
Being a “role model” who teaches respect, boundaries and love can last her a lifetime. You are building a foundation for your daughter from day one for her to possess a fierce confidence and value in herself. This “base” begins with unspoken language – it comes form your level of confidence inside of you two. Much like Cesar Millan – Dog Whisperer who teaches dog owners how to be the “pack leader” you must adapt much of the same principles. Deciding what messages you want to teach your daughter and being confident and secure in your delivery will be key to your success. Not transferring worry and panic should be your number one goal.
Once you have decided what traits you want to instill in her, begin earning your daughter’s trust by illustrating the qualities in a mate though role modeling between the two of you. Live what you want her to attract. Your words will never speak as loud as your actions. By the time she is ready to start dating or even considering sex or love she will have a base so strong that anyone who is not respectful, confident, loving and kind she will not even consider.
Enjoy each day with your daughter and all of the stages that will come way before she is ready for the subject of dating. sex and love. But when she is ready these Mojo Jewels may assist you:
1. Make sure you let your child come to you and answer with truth only what has been asked. Do not elaborate.
2. Stay age appropriate.
3. Be role model’s with the qualities you would like your child to attract and she will except nothing less.
Continue to check in with me and let me know how it is progressing. Sleep well in knowing that the hardest part to develop a successful happy child – you already possess – unconditional and mindful love!
All my best,
Dear Mojo
ask@dearmojo.com
Mojo Master Mondays! Each Monday we will highlight a Mojo Sister in the community. Our first pick is no one other than, Ellen. Talk about Mojo – Ellen has got it all! That girl has set her goal and is going for it! Ellen even has day’s named after her in other countries! Whew – here she is confident with her new year’s resolution for World Domination: watch it now: Ellen for World Domination
We all love her fancy dance moves not to mention her quick witted humor! Congratulations Ellen!
All our best at Dear Mojo!
ask@dearmojo.com
As you all know, I attended the Atlanta WordCamp this weekend. It was an excellent experience packed with Mojo and I would like to thank a few very deserving folks.
Kudos to all of the hard work from Tessa Horehled, Drive Faster Car , and Brandon Sheats for co-founding, organizing and hosting, Atlanta WordCamp . I first met Tessa in October at Hollis Gillespie’s Most Popular Blogging Workshop Ever which was the catalyst to creating my blog, Dear Mojo. Dear Mojo is a no-nonsense, rule bending, solutions oriented advice blog for the modern chick. I highly recommend this workshop for anyone considering entering the blogosphere. It got my mojo flowin’!
Tessa continues to deliver the best with speakers at WordCamp who were extremely informative, Jane Wells and Mark Jaquith, are two core WordPress team members who shared a wealth of advice and knowledge.
Mail Chimp, SCAD, and Microsoft, the sponsors who took care of all of our needs including an awesome venue, craft services and a rockin’ post social at TAP, were out of this world.
But my favorite moment was at The Genius Bar, it literarily took a blink of an eye to see an error my eyes no longer could see. A very special “Thanks” to Scott K Clark, with one quick WP blog visit he identified a forward slash / missing that was throwing everything off. Once we placed it in it’s proper home, I was able to toss out my scroll of questions and fixes. Within minutes my blog was restored – what a relief – I felt like a disease had been cured!
Another huge “Thanks” I owe to Karen Drewien from The Genius Bar. Karen was not only informative but patient and kind. I had been struggling with draft vs. publish dates, she taught me the option to “schedule” a “publish.” The ability to edit a publish date is absolutely crucial for many fellow bloggers. Thanks again Karen!
Anyone else have any plugins, special opps or knowledge to share? I would love to hear from you.
Thanks again to all of the geniuses at WordPress and Atlanta WordCamp for sharing knowledge and giving us a boost of confidence to charge forward!
All my best,
Dear Mojo
ask@dearmojo.com
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